Having someone new and exciting to spend the night with after a great night out with friends is one of the best things in the world. Getting dressed up, going out and drinking and dancing the night away can make you feel on top of the world, and no doubt your carefree beauty is a sight to make a few people interested.
However, there is a very big consideration with one-nighters that needs to be understood: Expectation. This can mean all the difference between a sex-fuelled, spiritually-freeing experience, or one that can make you plummet into the depths of despair and loneliness. Let me explain…
If you are not long out of a relationship that meant alot to you, your emotional strength is not at it’s peak, and it can cause you to take actions that may not be the best for you at all. Loneliness is a HUGE factor when it comes to a breakup, and no matter how much you think you are ‘over’ your ex, there is a deeper side to us that we can’t always gauge how it’s going. And usually this is the side that comes out when our inhibitions are dulled.
If you have just been through a breakup and go out with the pure intention of hooking up, you are likely to be disappointed in the end, because the intimacy and companionship you are subconsciously seeking, will not be there in the morning. All you will be left with is a hangover, a taxi fare home and a feeling of abandonment once again.
There is of course also the physical side. While the first moments of hooking up in the bar can be incredibly amazing and stimulating, just be clear that this may not translate in the sack. If you have been with one partner for some time, you both will have established a ‘language’ between the two of you where you knew how to communicate physically with each other. Meeting another person and getting into it so quickly can mean that this language has not yet been established, and seriously speaking you will often be left feeling ‘raw’ and unsatisfied. This isn’t to say that they couldn’t be the most amazing sex you’ve ever had, but just be clear this would be the exception, NOT the rule.
Now this isn’t all to say avoid one-night-stands altogether: no, quite the opposite. They can be a very liberating and confidence-building experience when done safely, but only when you are truly stronger, and sure of yourself, and what you want.
There will always be more nights out, there will always be more people to get it on with. Just give yourself time to heal properly and trust that you will not be alone forever – you’re too amazing for that!