Depression after breakups

By Leah Sheppard

Depression after breakups

If you are feeling really low right now, or wanting to harm yourself in any way, please call 000. If you just need a bit of advice or support, contact the beyondblue Support Service (1300 22 4636), Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). If you are ok for now, just read on :)

For most of our lives we are in hustle-mode; doing our best to fit in, achieve our goals and make sure we stay out of harms’ way. Usually this is manageable, and while there are challenges along the way, ultimately we can deal with them. When we go through a breakup, however, these things can become too much.

While the initial shock of a breakup didn’t actually ‘break’ us, the effects of such a big emotional trauma and life- changing event can have repercussions further down the line. We managed the shock of the breakup, maybe having to move house, losing friends, and crying our eyes out for what seemed like an eternity. Ever-aware of the fact that we are now ‘Single’ we try to alleviate the pain and empty feeling through yoga, trips to Bali, going out way more than you used to, binge- eating, alcohol, diets, Tinder…But all of these things don’t address the one feeling that keeps throbbing in your heart: My soulmate doesn’t want me anymore, and I am so lonely I can’t bear it.

And one day, before you could realise it or stop it, your days become filled with an unwelcome fog of fear, anxiety, anger, and deep mournful sadness: Depression. One day we might feel great; the next we are having a panic attack or just feel angry at everything and everyone, and have no idea why. Other days we may feel nervous, anxious, fidgety and lonely with terrifyingly low self-esteem. Sometimes you may feel all of these things at once, and think you have no other way out but to let it consume you and drown.

Depression is one of those words that previously held a lot of stigma, which is surprising given how many people actually feel this way. While the stereotypical view of depression is sadness, it really encompasses a whole spectrum of emotions that are both confusing and very misleading to our usually calm, confident and ambitious minds.

You are probably the type to just get on with things right? Not tell anyone you are feeling down because you don’t want to bother anyone, or look like a fraud? I have been where you are, and I know what you’re going through. Trust me, Depression is no joke and can lead to much more serious consequences down the line if it’s not dealt with. This is definitely one of those times to get a bit of help, even if it is just a friendly chat with someone you trust and who understands. 

We are so fortunate to live in a time and place where there is more understanding around mental health and how to deal with it, and there are so many avenues for you to get some assistance without fear of embarrassment or labels. Speak to your doctor, or any of the numbers listed above to get some advice on what might be the best way to go for you. Remember: Take it slowly, ease up on that brilliant and ambitious mind of yours and treat yourself with a bit of care for the time- being. The World will still be there for you to grasp when you’re stronger. xxx

depression after breakups help


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