Affairs: When loneliness makes you crave the taboo

By Leah Sheppard

Affairs: When loneliness makes you crave the taboo

The feeling of someone wanting you is hard to beat. It stirs you in all the right places, and creates an overwhelming feeling of confidence, and sexuality you hadn’t felt in a long time. The only problem is when they are already attached.

After a time of rejection and abandonment it is such an overwhelming relief and deep carnal yearning when someone upstanding actually shows interest in you.
This is especially so when you thought you wouldn’t find anyone who ticked all the right boxes again.

It is also true that when we know we have been through a tough time of life recently, with our hearts being broken and our lives re-routed, it is only natural to assume that this new lust is something that the Universe has given us as compensation.

But let me be clear: It is not. It is not your right to engage, nor is it fate that you and this person have crossed paths. It is merely coincidence, and lust.

Lets deal with the most pressing aspect to you in the first instance. The lust you both feel is born out of loneliness and/or boredom on both sides, not as indicators of a meant-to-be soulful meet-cute. They are human, physiological urges that manifest as a result of seeing something that attracts us. Just like a porno, or a cheeseburger. It can be hard to think about that when we become infatuated with the other person, and we begin to tell ourselves that such a strong urge is a sign from the Universe. Trust me, it is not.

What we often forget in these moments of passionate longing and Universal-entitlement is that on the other side of that great person, there is another one in pain, potentially because of you. There is another person who is starting to notice a difference in their soulmate, a distancing between each other and they don’t know why. They are in the process of having their heart broken, just like you.

Whatever issues this new person has in their life and with their partner is up to them to deal with, not you. You have your own path to follow, and in order to heal properly you need to stick to it. Going down the road to affairs means you will never truly be free, no matter how exciting and incredibly enticing it may be; plus YOU will be the cause of another broken heart out there. You will have so many more opportunities to find love that will rock your world, and have no strings attached. Understand that everyone, whether you know them or not, is entitled to a beautiful relationship. Your time for excitement and happiness will come – just believe that it will.

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